Violets: the gift of masking and unmasking | Part 1

a neuroexpansive vision on one of the first flowers of Spring

Growing up, my parents had a mask collection. Though I have some critique around cultural appropriation, I now appreciate the homage to masks given I was living in a neurodivergent household that didn’t acknowledge our neuroexpansiveness (neurodivergent and neuroexpansive will be used here interchangeably). 

 Masks have been used in cultures throughout time to explore the unknown, to play with archetypes beyond the human realms, to ward off undesired entities/energies, to open to the guidance of unseen (to some) spirits and to express our devotion to the divine. This spring my love for our friends the violets deepened. I understood how these flowers affirm the beauty and grief of masking, invite us to be in choice of when to let go of our masks and discover the creative potential of what’s behind them.

What is masking from a neurodivergent orientation?
It’s a navigation and belonging strategy designed to camouflage differences from neurotypical folks in order to survive in white supremacy’s status quo. I wholeheartedly welcome feedback to this working and everchanging definition.

Why Mask?
People mask for many reasons, including class, race, gender, ableism, and xenophobia. Coupled with neurodivergence, masking becomes more complex and nuanced. Here I’ll be speaking specifically about neurodivergent masking, acknowledging the intersectionality of identities within this neurotype.

It's been a year of white flowers. In traditional Chinese medicine, White is associated with the lungs; the lungs and the Heart process grief. Ashkenazi Jews primarily used violets to treat heart conditions. Heartbreak and lungs. Emotion and breath. This week, I sat in my friend Kitty’s lawn picking white viola odorata talking with Crystal about the depths and contradictions of love and the risks we think will set us free. Intoxicated by the spell of violets’ aura, I was sleepy for hours, hypnotized by their aroma:

just lay down. nothing left to do. 

you've cried, you've wept. 

you've imagined what will never be in the Heartbreak of what's possible.

now let us hold your tender body. 

bones rest. fascia melt back. 

the Cloud of our scent will hold you sweet child.

Violets grow close to the ground, to Earth. Their first and visible flowers are one of the harbingers of spring; white yellow purple pink faces shining, smiling at ours they seem to say: come on down here and lay with us. there's nothing to do but lay down and then, because their spell is so simple and true, we do.

Violet’s first aboveground flowers are the ones we see and think we know. These “chasmogamous” * flowers pollinate as most do, mingling in the chaos of social sharing, cross pollinating and setting seeds. 

The subterranean work they are doing is of a different orientation. As summer closes, another flower grows below the leaves. This one never blooms but creates a pod of seeds which self-pollinate in autumn. So here, Violet offers the wisdom of beings' ability to share visible beauty, the predictability of wild pollination and the propagation of Life while also harboring the secret unseen gift of self propagation and preservation.

As neuroexpansive folks we often need to mask in order to mingle socially. Here we celebrate this adaptive technology. Yawning is a somatic practice our bodies usually do automatically. We can use this to process the massive stress / executive function it takes to mask. Violet's first flowers are a kind of mask. There is trauma from constantly masking too (more about this in part 2).

There is also something here about our hearts needing to do some healing in secret. Masking can give us some of that privacy. We value and honor our masks for what they give us. Violet here too has the ability to heal something secret, perhaps even secret to ourselves. This is our body's wisdom. Violet can be our companion in this healing. Sexual trauma can often stay in our subconscious and violet supports a deep internal healing of this trauma. As our world uncovers the depth of sexual abuse that is the foundation for white supremacty and capitalism, many of our memories are becoming more conscious. Some of us are feeling the vibration of our sexual trauma without explicit memories. Violet says: don’t push yourself, what’s unseen can still heal. healing happens in the subconscious too, in sleep and dreams. what’s seen is another gift. either way, it’s safe to feel rage and anger and let that move through, we are here with you, trust healing to happen regardless of overt memory. grief in all her forms gives us attunement to subtle realms and leads us to freedom. Sexual trauma crosses a boundary energetically and Violet supports us in maintaining the boundary and our sense of self. 

In these times of collapse, I'm recognizing in myself and others the level of moral injury that has calcified in our hearts. We're being invited to deepen our breath. We are invited to stay present to or begin our grieving practices for what we have lost because of sexual trauma, living under the thumb of empire, for masking beyond our capacities - sacrificing the potency of our true selves.  We do this for the sake of feeling more, of having more choice around when we mask, of building a world that values all neurotypes gifts. Violet helps us grieve the transition from Winter to Spring and the transition out of empire and into revolution and the world to come. They support us to honor all parts of ourselves. They give us complete delight in their scent, flavor and stunning presence. They help us dream of a world still being formed, places where aliveness, creation, and life is honored and held sacred. They give us courage. 

Homage to Violet 

violet, sweet darling of the edges 

of The Damp soil

of the fields. 

thank you for your mysterious healing graces, 

your humor and smiling spirit 

your doting, mischievous masks

there is another world within this one. 

there are many. 

*We (Vito and I) went down a rabbit hole here of the etymology of chasmogamous. Chasm being:  "deep crack in the earth," from Latin chasma, from Greek khasma "yawning hollow, gulf," related to khaskein "to yawn," and thus to chaos. 

The complete chaos of pollination! The yawn, the gaping open mouth of the flowers, allows pollinators to enter and spread pollen from other violets.

Gamous related to marriage (I won’t get into it too much here but I really think flowers are polyamorous rather than monogamous). 

The marriage of one flower to another possibly leading to new breeds of flowers!

Thank you to Vito Valera my partner for help typing, editing and ideating for this piece. I have a shoulder injury and not much capacity for computer work right now. Books I referenced for this piece: Ashkenazi Herbalism by Deatra Cohen and Adam Siegel, Herbal: 100 Herbs from the World’s Healing Traditions by Mimi Prunella Hernandez, The Art & Practice of Spiritual Herbalism by Karen M. Rose and website reference: Alaskan Essences - White Violet Essence