DIY Wedding Officiant Handbook

jewish wedding

For nearly a decade, I have worked with couples and families to create one-of-a-kind wedding and commitment ceremonies. It’s an in-depth process.  Making a commitment doesn't have to fit into normative understanding of marriage.  A ceremony can be an archetypal experience that you define for yourself.  It can be a commitment to oneself first, the relationship, or growing a community.  It can be all of these things.  Everything about a wedding has the potential for symbolic importance, but the ceremony sets the tone both for the day of the wedding and for the next stage of commitment. How you decide to run the ceremony  helps set the intention for a life together, it is a memory that will be ingrained in your shared experience.


Why not just hire someone?

Why ask a friend or family member to officiate your ceremony? And then, how do you support them to be successful?

I hear from a  lot of people who have asked a friend to do their ceremony and then realized how much work it would be. Or, they asked a friend but they're having trouble making the time to put together something meaningful. I've heard from people who worked with a professional officiant, and they just have a routine script that’s not personally meaningful. Another challenge with professional officiants comes up for people who are queer or in a poly relationship, because it can be hard to find a professional officiant who will be accepting and nonjudgmental of their lives. These are some of the reasons why you might ask a loved one to officiate your wedding ceremony.

These are all reasons why you might want to use this DIY Wedding Officiant Handbook!


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  • Working with a couple with mixed spiritual or religious backgrounds.

  • Review and workshop the ceremony plan for a specific wedding.

  • Navigating involving family or friends with difficult family dynamics.

  • Pointers for navigating the relationship with the couple, as you dive into this process together.

  • Help thinking about the physical arrangement of the ceremonial space.

  • Confidence building for public speaking.

jewish wedding
jewish wedding

About my work

I started this work because my best friends asked me to officiate their wedding over ten years ago. We worked together closely to develop a completely unique ceremony. After the ceremony, I got a gazillion compliments and the family started calling me ‘rebbe' (a Yiddish word derived from Hebrew 'Rabbi' that means "master, teacher, mentor"). After looking into rabbinical school, I decided that the Kohenet Hebrew Priestess Institute was a good fit for developing myself as a ritualist.

I charge $3500-$5000 to work with couples on this process. I’ve only ever gotten great feedback, no one regrets putting time and energy into it. Now I want to share it with more people. I want it to be financially accessible and available. So I created the  DIY Wedding Officiant Handbook. Maybe you have been asked to officiate your friend or family member’s wedding, perhaps you want to offer this to a friend or family member who will officiate your commitment ceremony, maybe you are interested in becoming an officiant. Whatever the reason, this course is for you!