Sivan 2017: We All Wanna Get High

Damn. This is my one year anniversary.

It might seem insignificant to some of you. But for me it’s huge. In my world, I’m killin it. It’s important to celebrate these victories. In a world where Tr**p kisses the wailing wall and makes billion dollar deals on the backs of billions of people, we need to celebrate ourselves and each other. What did you do today, this week, this past year that you’re proud of? I'm proud of you for lots of things, big things. But it could have been something simple like saying thank you or smiling at someone who needed some brightness in their day, when you were completely not in the fucking mood. Well, you did it anyway. And that’s awesome. You are awesome. You are. My accomplishment of the moment, I did this newsletter (translated here into my blog) for one whole year. (I bet you weren’t expecting that to be my anniversary brag. Welp, it is.)

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!

The year has flown by. It’s literally like this hawk I saw last week at Baker Beach while scoping out the next Queer Mikveh location. She was flying and flying in place. She seemed like she wasn’t moving, but she was. She was just catching the wind, to keep herself steady in place while she very strategically eyed her prey and then dove down and attempted to catch a mouse or a hamster or a nutria* whatever it was, it was something delicious. I feel like in many ways I’ve been staying in place, relying on the natural elements, the natural course of life, the natural human desire to live, to carry me. But, I AM READY. GIVE IT TO ME WORLD. And just so you know, that hawk didn’t catch that animal but she was ready! So the point isn’t to get it. It’s to fly and enjoy the ride!

One of many things carrying me right now, is my deck. I still enjoy the journey it’s taking me on. I use it every day. I hear from many of you, it is serving you as well. I love hearing about your revelations and simple moments with the Moon Angels. I still care about sharing it as much as the first day it was born. You give it new life every time you find inspiration, comfort and joy. Every time it’s with you when you shed a tear, every time you lol**. Thank you for that. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. That intimacy is what’s going to save this world.

I love all of you! Thank you for reading! Thank you for fighting the patriarchy! Thank you for being you, exactly as you are! Thank you for noticing flowers! Thank you for making art! Thank you for remembering the ancestors of this land! Thank you for living, for breathing, for blinking your eyes. All miracles in the face of the bullshit we are facing. We are facing it together.

*For anyone who’s never lived in Olympia Washington or Argentina, I hope you googled nutria.

**My mom signs every single text she sends me, lol. Which cracks me up, of course. Recently she told me, it doesn’t mean, “laugh out loud,” it means “lots of love.” Oye. Even more hilarious. I cannot even describe my level endearment for this woman.

We are coming to the close of this thing in Judaism we call, counting the Omer. To be honest, I planned on writing about this every week. But you know what?! I had to move out of a moldy apartment and look for a new (mold free, affordable) place in the San Francisco Bay Area, no small feat. On top of that, my chosen family are in crisis which involves a four year old. So, this whole counting the Omer thing has taken on a new meaning this year and goddess knows, I didn’t have the time to write about it. But I got a few last morsels of wisdom for ya. Read on comrades, read on…

The day to day challenges of staying hopeful and alive in a country on the verge of collapse are significant. Yes, I still think in 50 years we will have fully entered the turning, the “Age of Aquarius” but it’s a rough ass road to get there and people are dying and suffering with intensity at the moment. This pain has probably brought a lot of you to your knees. This is what I learned from counting the Omer (so far) this year…

Chill the fuck out.

Shavuot, the holiday of revelation, is the last day of counting the Omer, it’s coming up, May 30th. It’s also the holiday of wisdom (it’s the day the Jews received the torah, the bible, the story). So of course, as a Capricorn, I’m into it. But also as a Capricorn, it’s difficult for me to follow the prior advice I just dropped for you.

How can you chill when the world is as it is? When I say chill, I don’t mean, do nothing. I mean, stop trying to do it perfectly. Mess up. Sob. Fall apart. Reach out for help. Get high (whatever that means for you, a sober or reefer kind of high). Dance like there are banana peels all over the floor. Laugh until you pee yourself.

Maybe not the kind of revelation you (or I) was expecting to get from counting the Omer but it’s what I got.

My blessing for you: My blessing for you is the same as my blessing for me. May we try less, follow our hearts more, let go, let the knowledge of living fuel our bodies to expression. May we be forever more weird and wild, care less what others think and act more like our 75 year old selves would have us act. That’s it, amen.

This time last year I was making videos of all the cards for Hebrew Priestess TV. The very first one I made was this one, Hugging Diamonds. This card is a call to make what you see into something you love. To intentionally notice who and what you love. I wrote you a poem in honor of you and everything you see, that is a reflection of you.

You.

You see the sky.
You smell the sky.
It’s grey and soft and beautiful. The rain may come, it may be haze or smog. But your eyes are seeing it.
Moisture enters your nose.
All this means something about you.

You.

You hear a song.
It sounds good.
You feel the vibration in your body. You move. You breath. You want to dance or you dance or you want to keep listening.
Sometimes you cry.
All this means something about you.

You.

You smell a flower.
It’s color enters through your nostril. You are now, in this moment learning about impermanence.
You may talk to it, find out if it wants to come home with you.
It might say no. You are ok with that. Or, you’re not.
All this means something about you.

Mirrors are everywhere. You gonna see a grey hair as a blessing? If you hate it, it’s your fear of death and a societal obsession with youth. It just means you are human if you hate it. It just means you are human if you love it. It just means we are all dying, a little more, everyday.