I write to you as the moon is widening her smile. It was sunny in the Northwest this weekend (try and understand, this is major.) We all tried to spend as much time as possible soaking in that precious vitamin C. Thank you GOLDEN LIGHT! After a year of eating more turmeric than most people do in a decade, I continue to welcome gold to my outer life as well. I found a golden chai at Out of the Closet a few months ago that could have been my Hebrew school teacher, Suzy Greenberg’s from 1989 and I’ve been wearing it religiously. (can you wear a religious symbol not religiously?) Thus, the golden yellow hands and banana peels on my Moons 2019 calendar.
My ruminations on the symbology of the calendar. I’d love to hear your thoughts if you care to share too!
Every time you slip on a literal or proverbial banana this year, first, remember: It’s ok! You are good! But ouch! Take a moment to feel the pain! I always have thought when we hurt others it hurts us more than the person affected by our behavior. I’m not sure anymore. Maybe that’s true on a spiritual plane in some ways but it fucking hurts to be hurt. Having been on the receiving end, it can bruise badly. As we heal on our journey of two steps forward, one step back or three steps back, things sometimes feel grim.
Our slips ultimately are our greatest teachers, the moments that help us transform and bring us closer to who we really are: beings in this cosmic, strange unfolding reality (or multiple realities!!!)
I’m not going to use the word buoyed here, (except that I just used it ;) ) because I think it was one of the most overused words of 2018 (by myself included) and challenge myself to think of another way to say this: If we choose to reflect, make changes and strive to live our lives more authentically, our mishaps, mis steps, mistakes become part of our vigor and passion for life.
As a Capricorn I hate to show my mistakes but I’ve made quite a few. I actually make them daily (I know, I can’t believe it sometimes either): I talk when I want to listen, I pretend I know things when really I don’t know much, I clean my house when I need to be working (I know, not the worst but also, really time consuming), I don’t speak to myself kindly about timing, I’m not grateful for all the privilege I hold and sometimes act the victim, I have no concept of time (that would be the Leo rising and Sag moon) and over commit. I’m sure there are many others.
But I’m outing myself because when I step back, I see it as divine. That’s why this calendar has the priestess blessing symbol, mistakes are divine and something to bless. We started to do this in my kohenet community. The two hands with the middle and ring finger separated (most recognized by Spock’s use of it on Star Trek-the guy was a Jew), is a symbol the priests of the tribe of Aaron used. I see the triangle as a vagina and a reclaimed pink triangle.
The hands are connected to banana peels as a commentary on slips as I mentioned above. It’s also a commentary about disability, slipping and the comedy people associated with that kind of comic relief. Yes there can be humor in slipping and tripping. Often people have coordination issues related to disability. Regardless of disability when we fall, sometimes we get hurt. It’s all connected. A lot of our personality deficits also come from ways we’ve been hurt. I like to think of them as coping skills that kept us alive. It’s not that we can’t reflect on them, grow out of them, see how they negatively affect us and others and work to make changes. But that only ends up happening when we have softness and compassion. We do this stuff to get by in a patriarchal world. The coping works, very well in fact! Or we wouldn’t do it. Good job bodies and minds and spirits! This framing has helped me with forgiveness. People who have hurt me were acting out of their own hurt.
It can be difficult to forgive if we haven’t healed the hurt. Thus, my inclusion of the snakes. Snakes are transformers. Snakes are elemental. Snakes go through the ringer, shedding their entire skin multiple times in their lives?! The Abrahamic religions completely demonized snake as part of the patriarchal plot to take down the goddess. The snake goddess (Yes, I’m a huge Marija Gimbutas fan since 1999. See, I also brag, another great coping skill I developed. Or maybe that’s just me?!) from the Neolithic and Bronze Age of Europe was responsible for life, death, and rebirth. Not to mention associations with justice, wisdom, war, love, and judgement to name a few.
Snakes are actually fine (except that we’re destroying the earth they live on). They have the blessing of reptilian brains that don’t concern themselves with human affairs like jealousy, greed and capitalism. I included them kissing each other above the dark moon to cast a spell of transformation:
May a blanket of forgiveness surround us each night as we reflect on on the fabulous missteps of our day.
May we feel gratitude for what they have given us: life.
May we extend that forgiveness to those who have hurt us, freeing ourselves to shed a skin of resentment and anger.
May our freedom give us inspiration to get more comfortable with receiving the love that’s always there for us.